Published February 10, 2006
You know, when a day passes by
a life transitions from birth to death
how much you may deny
from the babies' cry
to a slightly slumber of death.
You know when you wake up in the morning,
a baby is born ~ into the world.
By breakfast it is walking
by school time it is running.
The life it is unfurled.
You know when round comes noon,
the baby is now a teen.
Growing up a bit too soon,
coming home under the midnight moon.
The world is fresh it seems.
You know evening is the day,
that the teens are now adults.
Colleges offer jobs that pay,
yearn of families not far away.
The fresh and lively molts.
You know dinner is the time,
where retirement's coming.
The family you have is fine,
your child is top of the line.
Noon seems to be going.
You know night's the coldest time of the day,
you always hear them whisper ~
"I wish I was young," they'd say,
and the dogs at the moon they'll bay.
And the hearts of the many ~ blister.
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
it's great i really like the verse You know evening is the day,
that the teens are now adults.
Colleges offer jobs that pay,
yearn of families not far away.
The fresh and lively molts.
that's really good
so sorry for the bad critique, but i'm in a rush. i'll get back to this poem later, or at least try to.
one quick statement:
the ~'s look weird. get rid of them. otherwise, relatively good.
i'll write later